To Settle or Not to Settle
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009One of my clients was talking to me about a conversation she recently had where the guy was asking her what she was looking for in a man. She mentioned intelligence, humor, stable both financially and emotionally but told him she didn’t really care what he looked like or how tall he was. In response, he said, “Geez, you’re really settling aren’t you?”
Your List.
Everyone has a list of must have’s and/or deal breakers when they are looking to meet their match. The list typically has the important things on it, but can’t possibly have everything on it. Once you make that list isn’t it true that you are agreeing to compromise or settle on the other stuff?
Nobody is Perfect.
When she was told she was settling she was surprised. In response she said “Don’t we all? Isn’t the fact that we end up with someone, settling?” Her reasoning, nobody is perfect, therefore accepting anything other than perfection is settling. We all settle, it’s just a matter of what we each choose to settle on. Some, like my client, settle when it comes to looks or height. Others settle on similar interests, religious beliefs, hair color, size, etc. What will you settle for? Agree or disagree, we’d love to hear what you have to say!
I like to use the word compromise opposed to “settling”. I learned a huge lesson in life early on and that was to pick your battles carefully. Pick your top 3-4 and be willing to compromise on the others. Perfection is hard to find. What you consider perfection today most likely will change in 2, 5, 10 years down the road.
I agree with you Denise “compromise” is a much better word!
“Preference” and “Qualities” is what I call it. We all have them, it is obvious, she is looking for someone who has an outgoing personality, as oppose to looks alone. The physical appearance is not her top priority. Face it.., there are handsome and beautiful men and women out there, but if they have an ugly personality, looks do not matter.