Since my lifework for 30 years is all about life-transforming positive collaborative communication and leadership, which I love and live, you can imagine my upset when he turns negative because he has not done his inner healing work. I am not a therapist and want no free acting out clients in my house. It hurts my body and my spirit. Even my clients in business do not act out like this! I need a man who can carry his own emotional/verbal and spiritual water.

Younger men are more naturally collaborative and not prone to negative drama but I am past child-bearing so that is less probable, I do business with them and swing dance with them. Great fun. But very lonely not to have a real eyeball-to-eyeball gentleman in my life.

In my latest book I talk about the Power Shift from Old to New Power, authoritarian to collaborative, as the major issue facing leaders and our economy, but surprisingly a number of over-50 women bought this book because they were faced with Old Power men at home. I didn’t think of this when writing the book but the more I think about it the more it makes sense when you look at the reasons women are leaving men. These women opened my eyes about the reason I have had issues with negative men, and wonder of those women who rejected your cient picked up on his power and control issues? Or other issues?

My swing dance world is a great indicator. Men my age are stiff, they hang on tight, they lead me on the spine (dangerous) or kidney (painful) they control me in a really small space, they don’t let me move, they have no fluidity of movement, they don’t dance the music, they don’t get good training. Boring, disappointing, constricting. Younger men move out, use the floor, lead great moves, pick up on what I am doing and play with it, as I do with them, try new things, get training, dance the music, and we can play and have fun. Sometimes we spoof the lyrics with our dance moves and crack up laughing. Life is to be enjoyed.
Control is an illusion. I just want a positive team-mate and partner. Independence I have had for a long time. It doesn’t pass the so what test.

Thanks for raising this issue and for listening.
Linne/Dr. Linne

As I’ve said before, I do suggest that you find other means of dating besides on the internet because of the spelling issue, since people have to read what you write and it has to make sense to them. In your case, meeting in person is probably a better way to go, where women can see you and hear you, and you don’t have to worry about making sense via writing. Good luck.

There are many ways of meeting people. If one chooses to do it via the internet, then writing goes with that territory. And, whatever communication method you choose should be the one in which you communicate best. If writing is not your thing and you don’t want to use a spell-checker, then just don’t use internet dating! That is all I’ve said. We all come at anything from our own vantage points, desiring certain things.

Karen, your friend, I’m sure, is a wonderful guy. If I met him at a party and he was single, you’re right, I might find him wonderful, but he might not be a match for me. We all have our particular interests. I am a detail person who also happens to be creative. So, in an overall perspective, both are important to me. Music and Theater are particularly important to me. If I meet a wonderful guy, online or in person, music and theater need to be important to that guy. If they’re not, it won’t work. A few years ago, I dated a very wealthy guy. He was nice, but we had absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about. He didn’t even hear music when it was playing, and I am also a musician. He offered me a sound-proof room to practice in. Just the suggestion of that felt like a padded cell to me. He was good at what he did, but he was not a match for me. If I’d been a money-grabber, I suppose I would have forced myself to go with him. But, I’m not. I’m honest, and I know what makes me happy. We should all know what makes us happy and seek people who feel the same way.

What’s wonderful is that there are so many people with so many different interests and passions. And, my hope is that there is someone out there for all of us.

Sondra

As a matter of fact I have deleted my pages from internet dating, due to the lack of intrest shown…

Thanks again to you Karen XXXXXXXXXX Jim Kinghan N.Ireland. UK.

There are many word’s and spelling’s that differ but mean the same thing. by the same token here is a classic.

When entering a hotel in Nashville TN. I spotted a notice on the door which read ” NO SOLICTING ” In the uk a lawyer is called a solicitor, so one of my friend’s that night ,who is a solicitor thought he was barred from the hotel, until I explained the difference.

Apart from all that, I never had much intrest in school and did not pay attention to how to spell correctly, or where the comma’s should or should not be. My idea is still this, if the reader of a badly written letter cant understand the meening of the writer, because of the spelling, well it’s a bit of hard luck they are having. (no disrespect intended or implied).

Thank you to you all for picking up on all these point’s and , I hope you enjoy the funny side of it all and have a good, laff or laugh, delete whichever does not apply.

kind regard’s to you all Jim Kinghan N.Ireland.

Sheryl, Ignite Matchmaking

P.S. – Thanks for the Meetup info Tricia, I’d love to find out more. Not sure they have meetup.com events in the UK!

Everyone wants a ready made partner and a perfect one at that. That is why the dating sites are so successful. It’s a catalog of dreams.

If the one you just met for coffee doesn’t have that “chemistry” then just keep meeting others for coffee. Isn’t it just a numbers game? This is what I hear ad nauseam.

Get real and get off the net. Meet people. Go to parties. Have parties. Go to hiking events. Go on adventures. Volunteer to help people. Enjoy life!

This does not guarantee a happy ending with a partner but it does guarantee that YOU will be fulfilled and happy either way.

Tricia
Singles Adventures

I’ve been trying to decide whether to respond or not. I don’t want to be rude. Really. This is a forum, not a dating site, and since you’re asking for feedback, I’ll give it to you. I hope it’s OK if I’m honest and blunt.

If your last post was an attempt to improve your spelling and grammar, if you proof-read it and thought it was better, well then – the educational system failed you miserably. You don’t seem to know the difference between an apostrophe and a comma, nor do you seem to know when to use them. The word ’shortcomings’ is not spelled the way you did it (and this is easily checked on the web or if you open up Microsoft Word and write it on a blank page, if you don’t have a dictionary). ‘Companies’ is not the same as ‘company,s.’ If you wanted to make the word ‘company’ plural, you don’t add a comma. There are lots more issues in your post. If a person makes one or two errors in a post, I’ll figure it’s an oversight. But, if a person’s post is riddled with misspellings and poor grammar, I figure they either don’t care or weren’t properly educated. Either way, I’m with Mary, I’ll move on to someone who can spell and cares about it.

Jim, seriously. I may be a writer, but most people I know do care if their friends or loved ones can spell, and many people that I know are turned off by people who don’t take the time and energy to write properly, especially those over 55. Indeed, if you’re going to try and date on the internet, it becomes obvious all too quickly if you can’t spell. You will be rejected by more than those people who are writers if you don’t take the time or care to improve in that direction.

You might be better off to meet people live. That way, they’ll experience your sparkling personality first, and by the time you charm them, they may not care as much if you can’t spell. Join a singles Meet Up (www.meetup.com has lots of singles groups in the Denver area). And, the owner of this forum, Sheryl Williams, often posts upcoming events you can attend.

It’s true that sometimes opposites attract, but it is also true that like attracts like, so you generally find that college graduates hang together and high school grads hang together, if you catch my drift. I was just giving you feedback on perhaps why you weren’t getting responses. It’s your choice completely whether you choose to accept the input.

Good luck.

Sondra

With so many internet company,s all operating it is a mine field , not knowing which way to jump next, they should indeed remove unpaid member,s so that the rest of us can get a better picture, of who is serious and in so doing be happier to write a message, and be more likely to get a reply.

If the unpaid member,s were seperated from the paid, then that would again let us know where we stand. And this would not be hurtfull to anyone.

I dont see the point of anyone joining up, and not paying anything and expecting everything in return. Plenty of fish is a free sight, as it is stated so and messages can be exchanged without a penny. I dont know about other,s as they all seem to look for your money before you get through the door…..
Let there be change in 2010.. “How did I do this time ladie,s”???? Jim.