Do Guys Need to Chase?
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008Should a woman make a man chase them?
We’ve all heard about or joined in the games people play when they first start dating. Both men and women play them. As a matter of fact there are plenty of books out there that encourage you to play games, though most of these books consider them "strategies."
The games daters play.
For example, when a guy meets a woman and says "I’ll call" he should wait 5 days to call, he doesn’t want too appear to excited. On the flip side, a woman shouldn’t appear too eager and she needs to play hard to get. The "strategies" go on and on.
The big question is, are any of these games necessary? The one I hear all the time from women is "I don’t want to appear too available or interested, so I need to make him chase me a bit."
So, is the game where the guy has to chase after the girl really necessary. Is this true guys? If a woman appears too available is that a turn off to you? or do you expect to have to chase her a bit?
Interesting question. The “games” that are a part of courting are many times true for both sexes.Men do enjoy the thrill of the chase and on some occasions the chase is the thrill and the capture and life after the capture is “less exciting”. So manytimes the man is off chasing again after he has cought his initial”prey”. Is this a hardwired trait of men in general which has evolved over time from tribal days and still is retained in our genetic code?(at least for many guys?) Could it be shyness? or insecurity? Fear of “showing your hand”? ….for fear of rejection? These could all apply of course as the ego plays a very big part in the culmination of relationships.I have heard the theory about being too avaliable quite possibly may cause someone to take you for granted and overlook your potential as a mate. You know the title>>> “He is such a nice guy” as she persues the hard to get bad boy with a wild streak of independence knowing full well that he cannot commit or wont return calls.
On the one hand everything can be seen as some sort of game and we are manipuators by nature as humans.We manipilate weather..markets..buying trends..kids…pets..employees..we even manipulate foods to create different foods or meals. So it is happening all the time around us in personal life..via tv and news or even in dreamtime.
On the other hand I for one would love to stop the BS train and get off at the next stop and just be “real’! If you like someone tell them..show them..if not then tell them and show them.The sooner the better as finding that unique partner is long intense work and we really dont have time for bs and games. But…as games are played and exist many become masters and become caught up in the games so not playing can make you an outsider and the freshness of going against the norm in this matter goes unappreciated and overlooked.
As a passionate person If i feel inside some sence of excitement and want of another person i am with I “want” to be with them and know rhem and want to open myself up to them as well to look inside because I want to live for the present-not the past which is gone or the future which is yet to come ..but for the now! and I have found that many people just cannot live in the present moment but tend to live in the future and the past and this can cause many games to be played.
Well said Alex, if only the games were gone it would make finding a match so much easier. If people didn’t have a fear of being truthful, speaking their true feelings, but unfortunately it’s hard to hurt someone’s feelings, even if it is better for them in the long run.