Are You Getting Fat?
Tuesday, October 11th, 2011A recent Cosmo and AskMen.com survey reported that 40% of men would dump their girlfriend if she gained weight. Appallng? Accurate? On the flip side, only 20% of women said they would dump their boyfriend if he gained weight.
Why the discrepancy? It’s common knowledge that men are generally the more visual of the two sexes. They are more focused on looks and body type than what’s inside a person (that’s all just icing on the proverbial cake). Women on the other hand are a bit more forgiving.
As a matchmaker I interview both men and women. When I ask the women if it’s ok if the man has a little extra weight around the middle, 95% of the time the women say “no problem,” whereas only 5% of men feel the same way.
As linear thinkers men tend to go from 1) she obviously doesn’t care about how she looks to 2) therefore she must not care about me to 3) she doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore to 4) it must be over. Men tend to think who they are with says something about them and who they are.
Women on the other hand start trying to feed vegetables to our guy and cut back on the beer we keep in the fridge. We wouldn’t take his weight gain with any other hidden meaning. We write it off as work stress versus they don’t love us anymore.
Is there something to the way men think? Do women gain weight when they are unhappy? Is it too much of a stretch for a man to think she’s unhappy with the relationship? What about the women? Are we being naive to think our man is gaining weight merely because he’s stressed at work?
What do you think? Would you dump your significant other if they gained weight?
Maybe she is unhappy but she could also be content and cooking meals for him that normally she wouldn’t be and eating portions that match her mans while keeping him company, perhaps while he’s pouring her an extra glass of wine….
As a licensed professional relationship specialist, the expectation is that both parties maintain some semblance of their initial appearance. In other words, if the initial attraction was at a certain weight, then every effort should be made to maintain ‘as close to’ that appearance, excluding pregnancies, medical factors such as thyroid conditions, or certain medications like anti-depressants or anti-inflammatories that could cause rapid weight gain. In those circumstances, a medical evaluation might help to rule out sometimes unavoidable physiological issues. However, realistically, as we age, our metabolism diminishes, which means we might have to decrease caloric intake and increase exercise. At any rate, the old ‘Bait and Switch’ is not acceptable…
I have to agree with Victoria. 7 years ago my wife dumped me because I gained 60lbs. Finally, I saw the light and over time have had dramatic weight loss. My wife (ex wife) has moved on and won’t reconsider a relationship with me. So the moral of the story is pay attention and heed the above warnings to keep up your appearances. It’s in the best interest of both parties in the long run.