Are You Desperate?
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009Relationship Books – Advice Galore.
There are a lot of relationship books out there these days to help both men and women find that perfect someone.
To name just a few:
- 10 Rules to Finding a Mate
- How to Find a Husband
- How to find Mr. or Ms. Right
- Bewitch a Man: How to Find Him and Keep Him Under Your Spell
- Find Them, Keep Them, Marry Them
You get the idea; there are a lot of books out there! What these books teach you is obvious from their titles. Within these books you will find a wealth of information, but does any of it work? One common theme in a lot of "find a spouse" books is this – tell everyone you know that you are on the market and looking. The point behind this exercise it to get your friends, coworkers and family members to help you find someone and to introduce you to people they know.
What is a single to do?
In speaking with a client the other day she asked what more could she do to meet a great man. I suggested (just like the books) that she might want to consider letting friends and others know she is looking and what it is she’s looking for. She said "NO WAY!! That would make me look desperate!" I tried to explain that in my opinion it wasn’t a sign of desperation. You aren’t begging friends and family to marry you off, you are merely letting it be known you’d like to meet someone wonderful. If 70% of couples, who end up in long term relationships, are introduced to each other through someone they know (like their matchmaker) you are cutting your odds by not speaking up.
What does it say about you?
So does taking this approach make you look desperate? Or proactive? Is it a sign of desperation to let others know you want help in finding someone? Is telling people "I’m available" the same as telling them "I’m desperate?" Cast your vote on this topic, let me know if this is good advice or bad advice.
Tags: 10 Rules to Finding a Mate, Dating, Find them, finding a spouse, finding the perfect match, How to Find a Husband, How to find Mr. or Ms. Right, keep them, Love, marry them, Matchmaking, proactive single, relationship books, relationships, single life
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