The Argument for the Man Falling Faster.

My husband’s argument is that women do not typically sleep around or take having sex with someone lightly.  Therefore, a guy knows that if he has sex with a woman, she must really like him already and it is now safe for him to fall head over heels for her.  He points out that my argument fails (see below) because there are in fact some women who sleep around and they don’t fall for the men at all.

The Argument for the Woman Falling Faster.

My argument is that women fall faster because after they have sex with a man something “chemically”  happens and they feel very attached to that man.  Having sex changes something for women. There is a whole body of research by Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, showing how the chemicals in a woman’s body actually cause her to be more attracted to a man she sleeps with, especially if she has an orgasm.  These chemicals may even cause her to fall in love with the man.

Who Falls Faster?

It seems we have my biological argument and a more intellectual argument by my husband.  So the question is, who is right?  Are we both right?  What has been your experience?  Do women or men fall faster? Post your thoughts, we’d love to hear them!

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• Brainy Mom

Do all guys really like raunchy talk? 

I was recently talking with a client and the subject of sex came up.  During the discussion, she said she didn’t really like talking dirty, but has been told guys really like it.  "Hmmm, I wonder if this is the case with all men?" I asked.  Well, as it turns out she had taken a small poll of some of her guy friends and they all said the same thing — "We Love it!"

The Research.

Of course I had to do some of my own research.  Seems that it’s mostly true, guys like the raunchy talk and for some of them the raunchier and more foul the language the better.  I’m not going to get into specific phrases though.  Now, through my own informal poll I found out the following:

• Some guys like to talk dirty on the phone, but prefer to skip it when in person.
• The majority of them said it really turns them on when she talks about what she is going to do to him.
• If she says something really super raunchy when she’s usually pretty bland it can be a turn off for some men, so much so they might laugh out loud.
• Dirty emails are great; all of the men I spoke to loved them, but not while they are at work – too distracting!

The Ladies Side.

In general, the women I talked to about this subject were pretty comfortable talking dirty to their guy.  Several said it took some getting used to and some practice to figure out what their man likes to hear. Some women talk dirty because they know it pleases their man, even if it makes her a bit uncomfortable. One interesting result of all my questioning — about 1/2 the women didn’t like being talked dirty to!

Do you like Dirty Talk?

So the men like it and the women don’t seem to mind doing the talking.  Do you like doing the talking?  or do you prefer to hear your mate talk dirty to you?  How about emails or phone calls, are they a turn on or turn off?  We’d love your opinion and input; let us know your thoughts!

Some Random Posts

When it comes to alcoholic beverages, how much is OK to drink on a date? Believe it or not, it’s a tougher question than it sounds to answer.

Factors to consider when trying to figure out how much to drink on a date:

• Do you follow his lead? her lead?
• Do you not drink at all?
• Do you limit yourself to 1 drink? 2 drinks?
• Does it depend on where you go on your date?
• Whether you are having a meal?

These are all great questions and one of the reasons it makes it so hard to figure out the answer.

My advice on first date drinking

My advice is to know how many drinks it takes them before they stop caring about how many drinks they have. Once you know that number, stop drinking before you hit it!

For example, most people can easily have 2 drinks and still have their full wits about them, but pour that 3rd drink and inhibitions start to go. So stop at 2 drinks, regardless of what you are doing on your date, how much you are eating, or how much your date is drinking, just call it quits.

Some people say, "But we are eating a big meal, I can tolerate more" or "we are watching a baseball game or other sporting event for several hours, a drink an hour will be fine." Why risk it? Do you really want to let your inhibitions go on a first date? Too much alcohol typically ends up providing too much information to your date.

So before you go on that next first date, know your limit and stick to it. Agree? Disagree? How do you set your limits? Let us know what you think!

Some Random Posts

Dr. Fischer spoke at the International Matchmaker’s Conference hosted by the Matchmaking Institute and she has been studying the biological theory of love for years. I found her theories fascinating! She says everything we associate with love (butterflies in our stomach, euphoria, sweaty palms, obsessively thinking about the other person, etc) can be explained by the hormones or chemicals released by our body.

For example, sex drive is based on the amount of testosterone running through your system. Men are very visual (there’s something we didn’t know!) and can look at a picture of an attractive woman which in turn can increase their testosterone levels thereby increasing their sex drive.

On the other hand, women tend to have more memory recall, so they can release more testosterone when they think of a fond memory related to their loved one. According to Dr. Fischer, to sustain or trigger romance you should go do novel things together – it triggers dopamine, the chemical partly responsible for feelings of romantic love!

Some Random Posts