After each date, I ask my clients to follow up with me and let me know how the date went.  I hear a lot of the same sort of feedback every time and pass along the same words of wisdom each time.  I thought it would be worth sharing these thoughts on date feedback with everyone, so after your next date you will be able to make a decision as to whether or not you want to see your date again!

My date’s hairstyle/clothes/shoes/glasses were outdated or not stylish.

This comment is usually preceded by “I know this is going to sound shallow, but…”  Yes, you do sound shallow.  These are all issues that can be addressed and fixed.   Maybe not right way, so you might have to suffer going out with your date a few more times with a less than trendy hairstyle, but hair, clothes, shoes, they can all be updated.  A personality flaw, well that’s a bit harder to fix.

He/she was too short/too tall/too heavy/too skinny

We all have perfect bodies and we should expect the same from our mate, right?  WRONG!  OK, I know, you are thinking – I’m not attracted to someone who is over-weight.  Fine, I get that, if you are fit and have a thinner physique you will probably connect better with someone similar because chances are they will be as active as you are.  If you aren’t so active and fit, maybe a partner built like you will help you both get back to better bodies.

Now I’m going to pick on each sex equally.  Ladies, I hear it all the time – “I need a man who is at least 6 ft. tall to make me feel ______.” Safe/small/secure/loved” – you fill in the blank.  Isn’t it more important that your man treat you like a princess, have similar beliefs and values, be smart, handsome and able to carry on an intelligent conversation?  Rather than focus on his height, look at all his other great qualities – and squeeze his bicep just for fun, chances are it will feel pretty good.  And wouldn’t you rather have some nice strong arms giving you a hug than no arms at all?

Now for the men.  “I’m just not attracted to a woman with ______.”  Short hair/brown hair/big hips/small boobs – you fill in the blank.  I understand that everyone has their preferences, but I’ll say the same thing I said to the ladies.  Isn’t it more important that you are attracted to her, enjoy the time you spend with her, and she likes some of the same things you like?  If you’ve never tried being with a woman that has a feature you don’t think you like, maybe you should give it a try, you might be surprised by the outcome.

My date talked too much/didn’t talk at all/grilled me/didn’t ask me any questions.

One of these things happens on most every date.  Maybe it’s you who committed the fault, maybe it was your date.  Either way, consider it a first date case of the nerves and give your date a second chance.  If you see the same thing happen on the 2nd date, fine, at least you gave it a shot.  If I had written off my husband the first time I met him because he didn’t pay for my french fries when we went out after the bar I wouldn’t be happily married 18 years.

Have you missed out on your perfect match because you didn’t give them a chance?  You’ll never know, but in the future, make sure you don’t miss out.  Have a thought on this topic? Post a reply, we’d love to hear what you have to say!

Denver dating ideas

Over the years we’ve heard a lot of great ideas from our clients about what they do on Valentine’s Day.  This year, the list is for you men looking to do something besides drink beer with your buddies.  Celebrate your singleness and start a new tradition this Valentine’s Day.

• Buy a dozen roses and hand one out to every woman you see.
• Reserve a table for 10 at a local restaurant, then randomly stop people and invite them to join you for dinner. Mix it up, make sure to invite women, men and couples too.
• Forget wine tasting; invite a group of friends over for a scotch or tequila tasting. Have everyone bring a bottle to share.
• Organize a Facebook singles event and 1) see how many people you can get come and 2) see if you can get a local watering hole to host it.
• This Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday, so catch a flight to Vegas for the weekend. Bring only what you are wearing + a toothbrush.
• Go to a local department store or boutique and offer to buy a woman a red dress or red shoes if she agrees to go out to dinner with you.
• Put a note on your dog’s collar (or a friend’s dog if you don’t have one) inviting a cute gal to dinner. You can always let the dog pick your date.
• Pretend it’s St. Patrick’s Day. Go out with some of your single buddies dressed in green with green beads. Take a chance and give a cutie not wearing green some beads.
• Head out for some adventure, whether it’s a ski day, sky diving, or rock climbing, get out there and clear your head. Hey if you’re lucky you may meet a single woman doing the same thing.
• There is nothing worse than a missed opportunity, so do something you’ve been thinking about doing for a while but have just “chickened out.” Whether it’s getting a tattoo, asking someone out, telling someone off, or shaving your head, whatever it is just do it.

Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions, every year people set them and when the weather starts to get warm they are all but forgotten.  And year after year I receive phone calls from people in January who are looking for love.  Don’t get me wrong, this is great, we love it when our phone rings!  But when I ask them what made them decide to pick up the phone and call they say – “I set a goal to meet my match this year.”  Wow!  That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself!

Baby Steps

I’m the first to agree that calling Ignite Matchmaking is a good first step, but it’s just one small step in the right direction.  I was recently accused of jumping from Point A to Point Z and not considering all the little steps in the middle that I needed to get there.  Well that’s what you are doing when you go from Point A: I’m single to Point Z: I’m going to find my match this year.  You need to consider all the steps in the middle that will get you from A to Z.

Here are some suggestions to fill in the points between A and Z:

1. Obviously call an expert like us!
2. Make time in your calendar to date – REALLY.  Set aside at least 2 evenings a week to either go on a date or do something that helps with #3 below.
3. Expand your network of friends and acquaintances. Do this by going to an event you’ve never been to before, signing up for a class you’ve always wanted to take, or asking that shy co-worker at the office if they want to go grab a drink after work.  You never know who you will meet that will introduce you to your match!
4. Break out of your old routines. Sure, routines make us comfortable and they are easy to remember, but is it helping you to reach your goal?  Do you go to work, then the gym, then home to eat, maybe talk to a friend or watch a little TV, and then hit the sack?  If that’s not working for you, change it up! If you’ve been going to the same gym for 3 years and have never met a potential date, don’t stop going to the gym, just try another gym!  Do you love your dance class every Tuesday and Thursday?  I’m sure it’s fun, but if you haven’t met someone there yet try a new studio or take a break and try something else.  Mix it up people!

Make a Plan

Start the year off right and make a plan to reach your goal.  Pick a few baby steps that you are going to take to help you meet your match and by all means don’t let the warm weather get you off track!

Do you have some great “Baby Step” ideas? If so, we’d love you to post them here for everyone to see.

This 28 year old Bachelorette is seeking a well grounded yet fun man who eventually wants to start a family.  He’s in no hurry and currently loves to enjoy all the outdoor activities that Colorado has to offer. He’s fit and active, has a career that he loves, and is probably close to his family.  He is successful and confident, but not too cocky!  He may have traveled the globe or he just wants to.  He is not intimidated by a strong woman and in fact finds it sexy.  He’s fun and can be spontaneous at times.  This Bachelorette’s match must be smart, able to keep up with her, and social.  Think you might be a match?  Call us today for a free screening.